Skip to content

The Myth of “The Little Things”

Recently I’ve been in situations that have caused me to think long and hard about “relationship stuff”. Beliefs, sayings, quotes, etc. There are many beliefs out there, plenty that are contradictory even, that people swear by. Some I hear more often than others. Some I subscribe to, some I have no place for.  One that has stuck out to me recently though,  is the saying “The Little Things”

little things

The Little Things. Many people call these the things that , I suppose are the ones that don’t take much effort. Making coffee for your Life Partner in the mornings. Aiding in helping with the kids find socks, if there are any kids. Doing things not because you were asked ( or even if you are) that just make life a little easier or show you care, like washing dishes. Shoveling snow. Scrapping ice off the car before they leave  in the morning for work. Randomly checking tire tread and pressure, pumping the gas, Calling home while you are out and about , not shopping for the house, but still to ask is there is anything needed. Clearing a spot for them to eat. Offering the last available TV tray. Refilling the sugar (so it’s indeed available for the coffee you made) Making sure the mugs are cleaned to be used,  taking on additional chores just because you know you Life Partner is busy, or tired, or sick, or just doesn’t want to do it. So many ” Little Things”.

People often say it’s not the big ( money, cars, gifts) that matter most, but the “Little Things”.

I have observed TWO major myths to this. As being someone who is really good at these Little Things and the results  that has brought. Which sadly, not much success lately.

The first myth is that it is  “The Little Things” that count the most. FALSE. The little things only count when they appreciated. It seems that, once they become “old hat”, they no longer hold the weight they once did. If they ever held much weight at all. It seems that these “Little Things” become “Invisible Things”. They become the things unseen, the things that no longer matter. I find this anomaly interesting to say the least because, after all, it’s the LITTLE THINGS that supposedly count! Sadly forgotten though when the money runs low, or the arguments happen over the less desirable  “Other Things”. I guess the other things are the things that don’t matter because they are not the LITTLE THINGS, but now they are the ONLY THINGS that count. How does this happen? I’m not completely sure. But it has been an interesting, often sad event to study up close. When the “Other Things” start to become the “Only Things” that count, and the LITTLE THINGS that all the people of the world quote are what matters, simply, cease to matter all together. When the few “Other Things” somehow begin to outweigh the dozens of “Little Things”. When the cons, no matter how few, become more important than pros, no matter how abundant those pros may be.

The second myth is more of a misnomer to me. The fact that these little things are called LITTLE THINGS boggles my mind.  If we approach them being little things because they cost little and don’t take much effort, that most definitely needs to be revisited. Because, in my opinion, it is these very LITTLE THINGS that make up the FIber of the relationship! It’s the motor oil that keeps the gears running. You never see the oil because it’s  in the oil pan. But without this precious liquid, the entire engine to your car would lock up and cease to work. The car, in essence..dies. The oil change is one of the cheapest most effortless things you can have done to your car, yet arguably one of the most important things you can have to sustain the life of the vehicle. So are these so called “Little Things” that happen day by day, week by week, month by month, in your relationship with your Life Partner.

I’m amazed that these day by day little things are considered the ones that take the least effort. I suppose that really depends on what you consider, and also how you measure, effort. For instance. Making coffee for you partner in the mornings. Small effort right? But what if that partner, who struggles to get up in the mornings, has to get up earlier to make that coffee? Is that still “little effort”? By whose measurement? Scrapping the car of ice in the mornings? Well, that partner also has to scrape their own car. So what was a ten minute activity, is now a 20 minute activity, in the cold weather,  that runs the risk of the partner doing the scrapping being late to work with it. Is this still considered a little thing, because it doesn’t take much money to accomplish it? Shoveling during a blizzard so that nobody in the house gets stuck. Cost money? Nope. Just painful, tiring, and downright hard to do. A little thing? I don’t know. I’m no expert. Just a student.  But what I do now suspect,  is it seems  the LITTLE THINGS sure do add up, which should make them the HUGE THINGS no?

The poor Little Things. They tend to get the shitty end of the stick. Loved and Adored ( kind of the like the individual sometimes) in the beginning of the relationship, but ignored when those pesky few  “Other Things” come up. Like a middle child. Or the Life Partner who needs to be portrayed as unworthy of the fight. These “Little Things” must be forgotten as to be convinced they are no longer worth the effort.

The Reality of the System of White Privilege

The Reality of the System of White Privilege.

Still Little Brother

Let’s get this straight.

1. Sparty is still Little Brother. Little Brother is FOREVER.  Unless by some miracle the overall record flips, it won’t be changed. Michigan  leads the series by an UNDENIABLE  margin. Michigan leads the series 68–33–5. MICHIGAN also has more trophies ( 35–24–2 ). Little Brother isn’t changing anytime soon. Just accept it.Image

2. Sparty’s football team is better than University of Michigan’s is right now. BUT, the key is, it took an entire break down of the program to accomplish this. After RIch Rod ravished the program, UM has been in a consistent rebuilding phase undoing what he did, and rebuilding a completely different system. First, UM had to finish out the Shoelace era. Now, they are transitioning to prostyle. There is no consistency. Yet. Hoke, likely will fix that in the next two seasons. If not, he will likely lose his job. MICHIGAN MONEY isn’t going to put up with losing to OHIO much longer. 

Image

In simplest terms, Sparty doesn’t want to talk about history of the squads. They don’t want to be called little brother but UM has been good longer than they have. Undeniable. Winningest record. Undeniable. Rose Bowl appearances..undeniable. Is Sparty a better team now? Yes. But who isn’t??? Point being, whenever UM was good, the nod went to UM the majority of the time. Again, undeniable. Nobody with sense says Sparty isn’t fielding the better squad now.  I could also give them props for their coaching up players. Their coaching staff has a knack for coaching up recruits. But to get upset and diss the history is pathetic. Enjoy what you are doing, but don’t try to act like the past doesn’t exist because you are having a period of success..FINALLY. It took a total breakdown of the University of Michigan football program  to do it. 

College football success goes in waves. Right now, the wave is flowing in Sparty’s favor. University of Michigan is not fielding good football teams. In an era where Appalachian State and Toledo have beaten MICHIGAN, Sparty damn sure ought too right?  Especially since they are continuously crying about what bowl games they are not being invited to. (Which only enhances the little brother position, not even the rest of the BCS respects you enough to give you the games you wish to be featured in) 

If Sparty is able to keep this up (being a good football team) then when UM gets back on track, we can see on a more uniform playing field if anything has really changed. ( or at least if things are starting to change) 

Until then, accept your role.

Little Brother. 

Michigan Falls, But It’s Not All Bad.

I know there are no moral victories. Especially in a loss as large in score differential as this game. But there are some things that Wolverine fans can take from this and hope the team builds on during the season.

First off, when Denard actually ran, he did fine. He hasn’t lost a step. Also, Denard was only sacked once in the game. This says to me that he was getting some decent protection from the line against a championship Bama team.

Someone wrote that Alabama turned Denard into a Pocket Passer in this game. I disagree that Bama turned Denard into a pocket passer. What I saw was: Hoke knew that Bama prepared for Denard so he called pocket passer plays. The problem with this is he didn’t force Bama to prove they actually prepped  well for Denard. Look at every drive that there were plays called for Denard to RUN. The Wolverines did BETTER on those drives. I can’t help but to wonder if Hoke had been brave enough to test the waters, rather than ASSUME Bama could stop Denard how different the score might have been overall.

The other things I will say is this: If you pay attention, we know Hoke wants a Pro Style offense and wants to get away from the spread and option.With that said, I believe that Hoke had already planned on playing the game exactly as he did: by leaving Denard in the pocket.  Problem is, Denard’s arm is not accurate enough to do that. Even though it is early, Denard looked the same as he did last season and that does not sit well with me. The Pro Style ball won’t work with a Passer who is not accurate.

This will remain a problem until Denard is gone and we use a QB more suited for Pro Style type play.

Unless Hoke does something he doesn’t want to do: Admit that Denard is a spread QB that was recruited for that style and that allowing him to play that style is the only way Denard and UM will be successful. If Hoke is going to continue being stubborn and prepare for NEXT YEAR by forcing a pro style offense, it will be a long season for Wolverine fans.

If MSU beats University of Michigan, It Still Doesn’t Amount To Much.

I have listened to Spartan fans over the last few seasons and I find it utterly ridiculous that so many of them seem to think it’s a big deal that they have beaten the Wolverines 3 years in a row. They want this “respect” that has alluded them for most of their program’s existence.



Hate to break it to you (well actually I don’t) but even if you win today’s game, you still won’t get much respect.

Let me clear a few things up. 1. Michigan is Michigan State’s biggest rival. 2. Ohio State is Michigan’s biggest rival. Michigan is Ohio State’s biggest rival.

See, State just doesn’t really fit into the mix. Michigan just doesn’t care. And not many others do either.

The thing is, State hasn’t been good enough, long enough to matter to these programs with such long and rich history.

Spartys desperately want to matter. Even if it means trying to play dominate just because you beat Michigan teams that have been way off their tradition of winning. You can’t measure your program against a team that had the worst defense in the nation!

But this is what Sparty Nation has tried to do.

Why don’t they understand it just isn’t a big deal when you beat a team everyone else who means anything beats too?

When has Sparty ever consistently dominated Michigan when Michigan was dominating other teams? When has Sparty beaten Michigan during a great season? Even a good season?

Not much.

You just are not there yet. And honestly, probably won’t be in any of Sparty fans’ lifetimes.

You just don’t have the history.

 

Truth is, if Sparty wins, it will only be a big deal to Sparty and those who have ignored that Michigan hasn’t played anyone and has not been good in three years.

If Michigan wins, all the world will rejoice, because most people (including those in the state of Michigan) love Michigan more. That’s just how it is.

Stop trying so hard Sparty. Be good. Be really good. Measure your team on your overall success, not on beating bad teams and then maybe…just maybe, you will earn some respect.

Not The “Same Ole Lions”

So the Lions are 5-0. For me, this is something that I have not been able to say in my lifetime. Nor have any of my friends and associates in my age range. For those of us who have rooted for the Detroit Lions for as long as we can remember, this is a feeling that we haven’t had the opportunity to experience before. Sure we remember when the Lions went 6-2, but somehow, those wins were less…convincing. Everyone keeps waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under them. Fans were expecting to wake up and find that it was all a dream.

That’s exactly what happened. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But this time, it’s different. THIS time, they really are not the “Same ole Lions”

You can feel it. The league must be feeling it too, because at the end of last season, when Detroit went on it’s end of the season four win tear, we fans and the sports media were already discussing the possibility of a Monday Night game. When the schedule was released, we were rewarded with more than that. A preseason Patriots match as well as a Packer Thanksgiving day game was on the menu.

And the LIONS were ready to feast. And Feast they have. So far.

This time, it’s different. We were given a Monday Night game (the first in a decade) against a division rival that we won comfortably against a team that seems to have had our number. We have had two 20 point deficit comebacks in the 2 weeks prior to Monday Night Football, and we are undefeated. Calvin “Megatron” Johnson is having a career season and Matthew Stafford is still healthy. Jahvid Best just had the most productive game to date and our Defense is far better than anyone expected it to be. Because of the defensive front everyone expected (or prayed) would keep us in games, the secondary has benefited and not everyone teams deep pass play against us is a guaranteed big gain.

 

And we are no longer the butt of every football joke. Those few who try not to respect us end up looking downright silly. Just like Tillman of the Bears did when he tried to stop Best.

No folks. This is not the same team you are used to watching blow games they should win. Penalizing themselves into losses. Giving up huge plays downfield. Giving up when the going gets tough.

Instead, we have faced adversity, we have looked at it as an opportunity to dig deep and show just how different we are.

And we have prevailed.

The part I enjoy the most? EXPECTING to win. Even when we are losing.

How exciting is that? When can you say you have felt that way before?

These are the NEW Detroit Lions. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

What The Current Detroit Poetry Scene Looks Like To Me. Pt. 1

What The Current Detroit Poetry Scene Looks Like To Me. Pt. 1.

What The Current Detroit Poetry Scene Looks Like To Me. Pt. 1

The Detroit Poetry Scene has become a cliquish group with gang like tendencies. I know there will be many who wince at this comparison and yet even more still who will take offense. However, this is how I see the current scene and I feel that what I have observed over the years warrants this opinion.

Let me preface this blog with the recognition that it is not only the poetry scene that has taken on these characteristics. I also believe fraternities and sororities share in this sort of “groupism” that in it’s effort to offer a shared space for bonding and brother/sisterhood instead end up feeding actions of divisiveness and attitudes of elitism. At least though, for the sake of argument, fraternities and sororities can speak about their service to others on a regular basis through community work and scholarship awards.

“But local poets do community work too!”  What I can say is…I haven’t seen it.Wait, that’s not true. I just haven’t seen a significant amount worth mentioning. When I do see local poetry artists “giving back” by working with youth, they are either getting paid, or working with youth who do…wait for it…poetry. Go figure. So other youth couldn’t benefit from volunteer work from poets? Or do you just not care about what happens to youth who don’t do poetry? Other than some canned food drives, I can honestly say I don’t see local poets giving back much outside of the realm of poetry.

Separatism is prominent in the Detroit poetry scene. It also seems to me that if you aren’t considered to be a poet, you might as well be a pile of hot shit for all some of them care. I mean, seriously, I have seen people actually get treated differently simply because they are known to be a poet when they walk into the spot. They get spoken to differently, looked at differently, etc. Sometimes they don’t have to pay to get in. All of a sudden, you become the greatest human in the world, because you are a poet! All of this simply because you can throw together some great metaphor and crack some highly intellectual jokes. You would think, as much as these spots struggle  financially to stay open, they wouldn’t be letting anybody in free!

Come on people, that was a funny. Why so serious?

But wait, don’t be a poet nobody knows yet, because you will be treated just as shitty as the fans are sometimes. Just try to get on the open mic list at a prime spot. Good luck having anyone see you when your name gets called at 1:00am, if it gets called at all.

No. Instead they will move up people who do the same poems over and over again, five days a week, at five open mics.

Just saying. Maybe if the locals didn’t treat the fans like they were somehow beneath them, things would be better for all involved. Perhaps your audience wouldn’t be at least 50% fellow poets that you are already friends with.

Maybe, just maybe the dwindling of the poetry scene is actually in large part, fault of the poets themselves.

Charlie Sheen: Set Up for Failure

Recently comedic actor Charlie Sheen premiered his brand new, never before performed show/  My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour in Detroit, MI. From what the media reported, Mr. Sheen’s show reportedly “sucked”. He was booed off stage and people walked out in droves. If you watch the news, then you saw many talking about how they didn’t like Sheen’s show and how they don’t want him to ever come back, not even for a make-up show.

The problem with these reports is that they only cover half the story.

No one in the media speaks about how the first thing they began doing when Sheen announced that he would be touring was panning him. The fact that he wasn’t a comedian. The fact that no one knew what was in store because it was a show that was debuting. “He is on drugs”. “The show might bomb”. Yada. Yada. Yada. This was before the first show even  took place. How many performers have had to deal with such pre-bias before opening a tour? Off hand, I personally can’t think of any.

Now, let’s look at the night of the show. There was pandemonium outside of the FOX Theater. Also, here is a BIG KEY POINT…a lot of people in the audience were drunk before the show even started. These same drunk people booed the opening act stand-up comedian before he even started his act to going good. The audience was drunk and unruly and I’m not sure anyone would have survived that crowd.

Was the show perfect? By no means. But it was not nearly as bad as the media and people made it out to be. Like my friend said “what the hell did they want him to do? Come out and say WINNING and Tiger Blood for 2 hours?”

Right. Didn’t think so.

I respect what Charlie was trying to do. It was like he was trying to just give us an evening hanging out with him. It was an experiment. He had never done this before and was trying to see what worked and what didn’t.  He wore a Detroit Tiger’s jersey to get us going, which was great, but after that the fans lost appreciation for what he was attempting to do. He tried showing some footage from an old film of his. That was panned. He also tried to have some candid conversations with us. That was booed. There were some solid laughs in there but overall, the audience didn’t allow anything to play out.  Any “fan” going there knew that there were no guarantees. What I don’t understand is how can you call yourself a fan and then treat him that way? Booing him? REALLY?

Detroit had the privilege of being the first stop. How often does Detroit get chosen for anything? His reward? Being treated like he was less than human.

I feel if you are a true fan, then you would have supported  Charlie in his efforts. Offered constructive criticism on twitter. Understand that he might not have done great, but he tried something new. Attempted to be innovative and fresh. At least respect him for having the balls to try. When is the last time you stepped out on a limb and did anything out of YOUR comfort zone?

And gee, He seems to have done fine everywhere else OTHER then DETROIT.

Go figure.

After treatment like that, I wouldn’t come back to the D either.

Sorry Sparty, Michigan State Still Has a Long Way to Go

So, Michigan State beat Michigan for the third year in a row. This was no surprise, at least not to me. What I don’t understand is how it comes as a surprise to anyone else. Michigan had the worst defense coming into the game. Anyone who actually pays attention to college football (and not just WINS and LOSES) knows this. In my opinion, Michigan was the underdog and has been for the last three years. I don’t expect a whole lot from a team that is still in transition and has obviously had so many holes in defense coming into that game. I am not here however to discuss the game. Michigan State won. All over the place. No doubt about it. It wasn’t a close call. And although I think if a few balls were thrown differently, a few play calls made were different, it could have actually been a closer game,  but it wasn’t. I don’t dispute that at all.

 

 

I am however very perturbed at the State fans and the nation somehow regarding beating a Michigan team with no defense as a “Program Changer” for the Michigan State Spartans. This entire belief has baffled me before the game and after. Michigan State beating Michigan has no significance in deciding if Michigan State’s program is now “for real”. I understand the concept behind the thought pattern. Michigan has been the dominant football force in Big Ten college football for a long time. The team to beat. Then Ohio State became the dominant football presence here with Michigan being a close second. Some might argue Michigan was still the better team when looking at bowl performances, but the Big Ten title was differently up for grabs usually between Ohio State and University of Michigan. So now Michigan State beats Michigan three years in a row. The dominant Michigan football program has not been able to beat Ohio State or Michigan State the last three years. This must mean that State is now the dominant program at least between Michigan and State correct?

NOPE.

Not even close Spartans..sorry.

Actually I’m not. But, ya know..I’m just saying.

Michigan State beating Michigan three times in a row does prove something though. It proves that…wait for it…that Michigan State beat Michigan three times in a row. THAT’S IT.  NOTHING MORE.

“How can you say that?” “You  must be a Wal-Mart Wolverine for saying something that absurd!”
Or my personal favorite… “You’re just a HATER!!”

I assure you, I am not a hater. I actually didn’t have anything against State or its fans until the last three years when State fans starting talking soooo much crap because their football team beat Michigan. Smak talk is fine, but name calling and the like was just a show of how desperate State has been to beat Michigan and now they can’t control themselves. Well, to that I say…grow up. But I digress. The point is that beating Michigan the last three years really doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of Big Ten College football, or nationally for that matter. And it is because of one simple reason. Michigan isn’t currently, nor have they been for the last three years, a good football team. As I said in my blog before the game last week, State beat at team that lost to Toledo and Appalachian State! If State had not beaten Michigan, it would have been a more embarrassing occurrence than Michigan losing. Michigan is a team in transition. It has taken 2 years for recruiting and experience on offense to come to fruition. And Denard is still young. This has the potential to be a major turning point for Michigan offense or a major upset. I am hoping for the former.
But Michigan still has no  defense. Only the offense has been worked on. The defense has gotten progressively worse. It is the worst defense in college football! I don’t think anyone who respects the game would ever say a team with a good offense (that hasn’t been tested yet) and a horrible defense is a great team.  Michigan hasn’t been GREAT these last three years and no one can expect them to be. So if a team beats another team that is less than great, how can they be considered great themselves? To be the best don’t you have to BEAT the BEST? Isn’t that how it’s always been? Or at least beat some really good teams along your journey to greatness?

If that is the case, than how does that rule change now that State has beaten bad Michigan teams? Spartan fans can’t say Michigan sucks, and then beat us and say “now the Spartans are a splendid team” because we beat Michigan. That doesn’t add up. It doesn’t  make any sense! Either you are a great team now because you beat a great Michigan team and had a successful season or you beat a bad Michigan team and are no better  a team this week than you were before.

Spartan fans who are so emotionally hyped up on hating Michigan and their own “little brother” status can’t seem to grasp this concept. You are either dumb or just emotionally high. But how do you justify your belief that you as a program now should get some sort of respect when you are still on the losing end of the rivalry by a tremendous 36 games?? When you are notorious for starting strong and finishing on the skids and losing in bowl games? When you don’t play Ohio State consistently and when you do play them, you lose? You haven’t beaten Ohio State since 1999.

Sure it’s been a long time since Michigan beat them, but it’s been even LONGER for State.

All you have done is beat bad Michigan teams three years in a row. (ok two years they were bad, this year they are ok.)

State did not build their team up to the level of Michigan’s program. Michigan’s program fell down to theirs.

And the season isn’t even near over yet. We still don’t know if State will finish the season strong, or falter as usual. My money is on the finishing. They have a good team. They have an easy schedule. They played a horrible Michigan D and a young  first year starting QB, and they don’t play Ohio State.  The football stars are aligned in  favor of State running the table. They better. And they better do it with gusto if they want any respect in my opinion. This is a must.

I am not saying Michigan State isn’t a good team. From what I have seen they are well-balanced on offense and defense. They are a good team and most definitely better than Michigan is right now. But nothing State  has done yet has solidified a position to even begin being compared to the legacy of The University of  Michigan program.

Even if they finish the season with a perfect record you have to evaluate who they played on that schedule. It will go down in history as a perfect season, but it will be far  less than magical.

Please stop this discussion. Focus on winning out the easy schedule and winning your bowl game. Think about legacy further down the line. Waaaay further down. PLEASE.

To BE the BEST you have to BEAT the BEST.

Sorry Spartys, but you have done nothing of the sort.